**I woke up in the middle of the night and for some reason this came to me. I don't know why I titled it "WOLF LOVE" but perhaps in time when I work on this piece again, all the puzzle pieces will fit.Don't mind all the errors I didn't even read over everything. Hope you enjoy it!
While I lay in bed waiting for sleep to overcome me, I had the sudden urge to yell out in frustration. I struggled to hold in every ounce of irritation eating away at my very sanity and in doing so ended up flying one of my pillows.
The pillow hit my bookshelf knocking over the frames and whatever else I had put on there earlier. I didn’t care about the mess I had just made, I didn’t care whether or not it was two in the morning and I still had yet to sleep, I just needed to do something, anything.
I just needed to get away.
I sat up in bed staring out of my window. The moon was peeking from behind the clouds which blocked its partial view from me. The night looked beautiful even though there was a storm and most of the stars were covered by the clouds that littered the sky.
I looked up towards the heavens while my frustration rocked back and forth inside of me. The confusion and anger stirred up mixed emotions and I felt as if it wanted to claw itself out of my body.
With my knees pressed up against my chest, I lay my forehead on them rocking back and forth hoping something could calm down all the madness that was fighting inside of me. Hoping that I could feel the comfort of his arms around my body because I missed him, I missed him terribly.
I knew there was nothing I could do to get him back, nothing I could do to have him here by my side because he was gone. He had taken off afraid of the secret he had enforced on my life, thinking I would regret the very feelings I had grown for him over the time we had spent together.
There have been a few moments in my life up until this point where I have found my life unsatisfying. Those moments didn’t compare to what I felt now. I sat up with a sickening feeling in my gut while I reached under my bed and pulled out bag. I reached into the bag and pulled out its contents.
The unsatisfying feeling returned when the rope which was now wrapped around my hand was in full view. The thought of slipping my head through the loop, which I must add was the perfect size, made my stomach churn. I stared at the rope, twirling the fibers between my fingers wondering why?
Death is inevitable. It’s the only constant thing in life. You can’t cheat death, you can’t decide when, where, or even how you want to die. Things just happen. Whether it’s a physical death or an internal death, a person, animal, or even a “thing” still reaches death at some point in life and I was ninety-six percent sure I wanted this to be mine.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Breaking Point (Snippet)
Dear Readers,
The inspiration and reason behind this story can be found here on my Liberating Chasidy blog.
It was never my intention to lead anyone on nor did I think by being nice to someone, it would mean I was interested in him, any man for that matter as more than friends. I never once thought after I told a guy "things weren't working out" or "I only want to be friends" he was going throw such a hissy fit over the fact I "broke" his heart. But as I stood here listening to my brother go on and on about how this man thinks I'm "good for nothing" or that I "don't do shit", I feel my blood slowly heating up. So slow I can feel it working its way inch by inch through my body.
I rarely lose my anger let alone let these sort of issues bother me. I've always been the type of woman who tries to take the high road with most things in life but for some reason with this, I just can't seem to do it.
I hear my brother talking. I feel my blood rushing through me. I feel... my body heating up and know soon I will either have to walk away or I will definately explode. The thing is, I don't think I can even move. There's a part of me which thinks I'm too far gone. There is no way I can let my anger subside because it's too much for me handle.
"Enough", I whisper.
My brother doesn't hear me. I repeat myself louder this time and he starts to notice I am not a happy camper. I try to walk away from where we're standing in the mall but my brother grabs my arm before I can get away. I pull and tug trying to get his grip to loosen but he doesn't budge and before I know it, tears start to fall from my eyes.
For a while I am embarrased that anyone, let alone my brother, sees my weekness. As time trickles by like sand in a hourglass, I snap. My anger building so quickly, so fast, I have no idea what's going to happen or what's going on for that matter. I give one last hard tug from my brother's grip and I finally manage to get loose. I run as fast as I can to the nearest exit pulling my cellphone out of my pocket while trying to get my legs to move faster.
I need to make a call. That's the only thing I can think of. Call Him.
It had been several months since he and I last spoke. He who must remain nameless.
I never thought I would be counting on him to do a favor for me. I knew the price he would be asking for would be steep. But at that moment, when my anger was more important to me than life itself, I didn't care. What I wanted, I would get. Whatever I needed to do, whatever He needed me to do, I would. Because this, this was it. The last straw. That last stitch holding in all my emotions had finally broken.... And I was free. I was sick of this man who thought to throw all his low confidence bullshit crap on me. Sick of men in general. Sick of all men but one.
Beware all! For I have finally broken the seal and I will get my revenge.
As that thought slowly circled my brain, I continued to run for the nearest exit, I heard the other end of the line pick up. My heart racing, anticipating his voice.
"Mi Amor. It has been a while." His voice rushing over me like soft velvet. My heart clenching, Memories of the past rushing back to me as if it were yesterday. Yes, oh yes. He was the right person to call. For him, I would do anything. For him, I would give my life.
As I saw the exit sign a few yards ahead, I told him what I promised myself I would never do. Not ever again. I spoke to him the four words that would change everything...
"I need your help."
The inspiration and reason behind this story can be found here on my Liberating Chasidy blog.
......
I rarely lose my anger let alone let these sort of issues bother me. I've always been the type of woman who tries to take the high road with most things in life but for some reason with this, I just can't seem to do it.
I hear my brother talking. I feel my blood rushing through me. I feel... my body heating up and know soon I will either have to walk away or I will definately explode. The thing is, I don't think I can even move. There's a part of me which thinks I'm too far gone. There is no way I can let my anger subside because it's too much for me handle.
"Enough", I whisper.
My brother doesn't hear me. I repeat myself louder this time and he starts to notice I am not a happy camper. I try to walk away from where we're standing in the mall but my brother grabs my arm before I can get away. I pull and tug trying to get his grip to loosen but he doesn't budge and before I know it, tears start to fall from my eyes.
For a while I am embarrased that anyone, let alone my brother, sees my weekness. As time trickles by like sand in a hourglass, I snap. My anger building so quickly, so fast, I have no idea what's going to happen or what's going on for that matter. I give one last hard tug from my brother's grip and I finally manage to get loose. I run as fast as I can to the nearest exit pulling my cellphone out of my pocket while trying to get my legs to move faster.
I need to make a call. That's the only thing I can think of. Call Him.
It had been several months since he and I last spoke. He who must remain nameless.
I never thought I would be counting on him to do a favor for me. I knew the price he would be asking for would be steep. But at that moment, when my anger was more important to me than life itself, I didn't care. What I wanted, I would get. Whatever I needed to do, whatever He needed me to do, I would. Because this, this was it. The last straw. That last stitch holding in all my emotions had finally broken.... And I was free. I was sick of this man who thought to throw all his low confidence bullshit crap on me. Sick of men in general. Sick of all men but one.
Beware all! For I have finally broken the seal and I will get my revenge.
As that thought slowly circled my brain, I continued to run for the nearest exit, I heard the other end of the line pick up. My heart racing, anticipating his voice.
"Mi Amor. It has been a while." His voice rushing over me like soft velvet. My heart clenching, Memories of the past rushing back to me as if it were yesterday. Yes, oh yes. He was the right person to call. For him, I would do anything. For him, I would give my life.
As I saw the exit sign a few yards ahead, I told him what I promised myself I would never do. Not ever again. I spoke to him the four words that would change everything...
"I need your help."
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Payback (snippet)
December 1998
I stood in the darkened shadows of the girls locker room staring. I was just staring at that treacherous bitch putting her lips all over my so called boyfriend. Her hands rubbing all over his body like she owned him slowly inching down toward his pants.
God, how pathetic could either of them be? Working each other over like a dog whose been starving for days and finally got a bone to chew on.
John Baker, all-star athlete and varsity football captain had his hand twisted into that bitch, Janie Low’s beach blonde hair yanking it back so that a moan could escape those lips of hers. Her head fell back letting his lips trail the side of her neck. John looked like he was totally into it grinding his hard on against her. A smile and eyes filled with lust covered his face. That rancid bastard!
Red. That’s the only color I could see. I closed my eyes to let those whores do their business. I left them to enjoy their company with each other. I left them to do what they pleased. What else was I to do? Run in there and make a fool of myself. Yell at Janie for being such a great friend or maybe at John for being such a faithful boyfriend? Whatever the cause may be one thing’s for sure. I will get them back, both of them, even if it took years.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I opened my eyes and saw John undressing her. First her super thin tank top that could fit a baby and next a mini skirt short enough to called a rag with the amount of material used. One word came to mind. Whore. She wore a black g-string that barely covered anything. She might as well have worn nothing No big deal though, Janie knew what she was. She loved the attention. She adored the way men looked at her and the fact she slept with more than half of them made her feel like a queen. When John unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down a little to free his erection I just about screamed out in frustration as they began having sex.
I left knowing very well that pay back was surely a bitch. Janie Low better watch her back I thought as I walked to my car. No more. There is no way in hell I’m letting her get away with this crap.
I stood in the darkened shadows of the girls locker room staring. I was just staring at that treacherous bitch putting her lips all over my so called boyfriend. Her hands rubbing all over his body like she owned him slowly inching down toward his pants.
God, how pathetic could either of them be? Working each other over like a dog whose been starving for days and finally got a bone to chew on.
John Baker, all-star athlete and varsity football captain had his hand twisted into that bitch, Janie Low’s beach blonde hair yanking it back so that a moan could escape those lips of hers. Her head fell back letting his lips trail the side of her neck. John looked like he was totally into it grinding his hard on against her. A smile and eyes filled with lust covered his face. That rancid bastard!
Red. That’s the only color I could see. I closed my eyes to let those whores do their business. I left them to enjoy their company with each other. I left them to do what they pleased. What else was I to do? Run in there and make a fool of myself. Yell at Janie for being such a great friend or maybe at John for being such a faithful boyfriend? Whatever the cause may be one thing’s for sure. I will get them back, both of them, even if it took years.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I opened my eyes and saw John undressing her. First her super thin tank top that could fit a baby and next a mini skirt short enough to called a rag with the amount of material used. One word came to mind. Whore. She wore a black g-string that barely covered anything. She might as well have worn nothing No big deal though, Janie knew what she was. She loved the attention. She adored the way men looked at her and the fact she slept with more than half of them made her feel like a queen. When John unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down a little to free his erection I just about screamed out in frustration as they began having sex.
I left knowing very well that pay back was surely a bitch. Janie Low better watch her back I thought as I walked to my car. No more. There is no way in hell I’m letting her get away with this crap.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Jake & Amber (pt.1)
The next morning I woke up with the worst headache I’ve ever had in my entire life. Even when I was in college I had never felt as bad as I did now. It was morning and the sun shown bright as if the storm yesterday had never happened. The birds chirped and sang their sweet tune while I managed to sit myself in bed. My head was still spinning and my stomach was in turmoil. I saw the bottle of tequila still on the nightstand ¾ of it empty.
I could hear someone rustling around outside in the kitchen. My first thought was that it was Natasha, but then I remembered it couldn’t be her because she was dead. Holding back tears I made my way to the door and slowly walked towards the kitchen making sure my path was clear just incase I had to run to the bathroom and kiss the Porcelain Queen good morning. To my amazement I found Jake in the kitchen. The smell of pancakes and bacon made my stomach rumble and I was lucky enough to make it to the trash can before everything began working its way out.
I felt Jake rubbing my back and doing his best to hold my hair out of the way. I kept thinking this was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Jake kept repeating "Everything's going to be fine" and I really wanted to tell him to shut up but every chance I got to catch my breath, other things other words came tumbling out.
It seemed like I was in that position for hours even though it was just barely ten minutes. I sat on the chair with my head down on the table wondering if I would ever feel normal again. Jake had set down a plate of food for me but I couldn’t stomach eating anything so soon. I just sipped on the tea he had poured and watched him eat his breakfast. How he managed to eat after seeing me throw up, I’ll never understand.
I noticed Jake had impeccable table manners. The way he held is fork and knife to cut the pancakes, the napkin that lay on his lap, he even chewed with his mouth closed which was a big plus considering most of the men I knew chewed as if they were eating grass rather than food.. As if he knew I was staring at him, he paused mid way from putting a strip of bacon in his mouth and looked at me.
“Are you ok?” he asked me and I replied by nodding my head and continuing to sip on my tea, “You know, it helps if you talk about it, Love.”
“I know” I replied knowing he meant about Natasha’s death. my voice shot to hell, I continued on trying to stomach the tea.
Jake and I sat quietly for a moment until he stood and walked away returning a few moments later. He had a look to him; like he was hiding something or he wanted to ask a question but was too afraid to speak. Jake sat next to me grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly while looking straight into my eyes. I could feel him inside of me; I could feel his gaze as if he were looking straight into my heart.
“There’s something I need from you” Jake said, “Do you think you could do it for me?”
“Sure, what is it? What’s wrong?” I replied. He looked nervous which got me thinking that mayhe he didn't want to be with me anymore. But if that was teh case, why go through all the trouble of trying to help me? What does he want? I was scared now. Jake was scaring me. He had this look to him that said he meant serious business. I had no idea what he wanted from me but I was in no rush to find out.
“I need you to stop drinking. I need you to let go, to let go of your friend’s death.” Jake continued speaking cutting me off, “I need you to be strong. I’m not saying to forget about her but to just let her go in peace. Can you do that?”
I didn’t know what to say or how to react. He was telling me to let go of my best friend. You just don’t forget about things like that. I couldn’t let go of her even if I wanted to. Natasha was apart of my life, had been apart of my life. She had been apart of it since we were in high school, best friends and now Jake wanted me to move on? That wouldn’t happen.
Before I began to tell Jake I was never going to forget about her let alone let go of her, he surprised me by taking out of his jacket pocket a little velvet box. My heart skipped a beat as I looked upon the dainty velvet box; my eyes wide open as if to question what was in it. He returned my silent question by opening it.
There lay before me a single gold key. I felt my shoulders relax and the breath I had no idea I was holding in release from my lungs. It was just a key, a single key. I looked up at him ready to ask what it was for but he cut me off.
“I wish I could say it was the key to my heart but it seems you already have that right in here”
His hand was placed over my heart. I didn’t know what to say or do in return. I was still in shock as to what he was asking.
“Move in with me” he whispered as if afraid I would say no, “please?”
I let the thought of the two of us living together run through my head. He was a good guy, possibly "the one", but I was afraid of losing him like I had lost so many of my loved ones before. I had a choice to make and from the look on Jake’s face, doubt was written all over it.
I could hear someone rustling around outside in the kitchen. My first thought was that it was Natasha, but then I remembered it couldn’t be her because she was dead. Holding back tears I made my way to the door and slowly walked towards the kitchen making sure my path was clear just incase I had to run to the bathroom and kiss the Porcelain Queen good morning. To my amazement I found Jake in the kitchen. The smell of pancakes and bacon made my stomach rumble and I was lucky enough to make it to the trash can before everything began working its way out.
I felt Jake rubbing my back and doing his best to hold my hair out of the way. I kept thinking this was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Jake kept repeating "Everything's going to be fine" and I really wanted to tell him to shut up but every chance I got to catch my breath, other things other words came tumbling out.
It seemed like I was in that position for hours even though it was just barely ten minutes. I sat on the chair with my head down on the table wondering if I would ever feel normal again. Jake had set down a plate of food for me but I couldn’t stomach eating anything so soon. I just sipped on the tea he had poured and watched him eat his breakfast. How he managed to eat after seeing me throw up, I’ll never understand.
I noticed Jake had impeccable table manners. The way he held is fork and knife to cut the pancakes, the napkin that lay on his lap, he even chewed with his mouth closed which was a big plus considering most of the men I knew chewed as if they were eating grass rather than food.. As if he knew I was staring at him, he paused mid way from putting a strip of bacon in his mouth and looked at me.
“Are you ok?” he asked me and I replied by nodding my head and continuing to sip on my tea, “You know, it helps if you talk about it, Love.”
“I know” I replied knowing he meant about Natasha’s death. my voice shot to hell, I continued on trying to stomach the tea.
Jake and I sat quietly for a moment until he stood and walked away returning a few moments later. He had a look to him; like he was hiding something or he wanted to ask a question but was too afraid to speak. Jake sat next to me grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly while looking straight into my eyes. I could feel him inside of me; I could feel his gaze as if he were looking straight into my heart.
“There’s something I need from you” Jake said, “Do you think you could do it for me?”
“Sure, what is it? What’s wrong?” I replied. He looked nervous which got me thinking that mayhe he didn't want to be with me anymore. But if that was teh case, why go through all the trouble of trying to help me? What does he want? I was scared now. Jake was scaring me. He had this look to him that said he meant serious business. I had no idea what he wanted from me but I was in no rush to find out.
“I need you to stop drinking. I need you to let go, to let go of your friend’s death.” Jake continued speaking cutting me off, “I need you to be strong. I’m not saying to forget about her but to just let her go in peace. Can you do that?”
I didn’t know what to say or how to react. He was telling me to let go of my best friend. You just don’t forget about things like that. I couldn’t let go of her even if I wanted to. Natasha was apart of my life, had been apart of my life. She had been apart of it since we were in high school, best friends and now Jake wanted me to move on? That wouldn’t happen.
Before I began to tell Jake I was never going to forget about her let alone let go of her, he surprised me by taking out of his jacket pocket a little velvet box. My heart skipped a beat as I looked upon the dainty velvet box; my eyes wide open as if to question what was in it. He returned my silent question by opening it.
There lay before me a single gold key. I felt my shoulders relax and the breath I had no idea I was holding in release from my lungs. It was just a key, a single key. I looked up at him ready to ask what it was for but he cut me off.
“I wish I could say it was the key to my heart but it seems you already have that right in here”
His hand was placed over my heart. I didn’t know what to say or do in return. I was still in shock as to what he was asking.
“Move in with me” he whispered as if afraid I would say no, “please?”
I let the thought of the two of us living together run through my head. He was a good guy, possibly "the one", but I was afraid of losing him like I had lost so many of my loved ones before. I had a choice to make and from the look on Jake’s face, doubt was written all over it.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Mr.Strong Arms pt.1
He was there. Standing outside working in the hot 85 degree weather. There was a slight breeze in the air that I could tell from his hair blowing in the wind. It didn't seem like it did much to cool him off because his shirt was off and tucked in the back of his Levis. Sweat beading on his forehead and dripping down his arms and stomach. His body, well it was the work of the Gods. He could very well be called the next Adonis. His looks possibly giving a younger Brad Pitt a run for his money though instead of blonde hair and blue eyes, he was all tan skin with both dark brown hair and eyes, almost black.
I wasn't quite sure what he was working on outside. All I knew was that it was a favor for the grandfather of the child I was babysitting. When his truck first arrived, I couldn't help but just stare. It was one of those trucks you would see on a farm or ranch or perhaps it was one of those trucks they used to pull heavy equipment and held a lot of power. Whatever the fact, one thing was for sure, his truck was pure power and it was indeed a man's truck.
I sat on the sofa that looked out of the window, staring. I couldn't help but watch the muscles in his arms and back bunch up. The sweat that ran down his body, well that was just the icing on the cake. From what I could see he was working on the pavement near the road probably leveling the entire thing or so I thought. It's not like I knew anything about cement and road work.
As he wiped the sweat of his brown I pulled my hair into a tight pony. God, it felt like a hundred degrees in the house. The three fans were on full blast and I couldn't help but feel the heat ride up my neck. Unconsciously I began fanning my face and that's when he looked up. Our eyes locked for a brief second, amusement shining in his while mine probably held the deer in the headlights look. Quickly I looked away and then walked to the other couch knowing he saw me looking and there was nothing I could do about it.
In order to take my mind off of him, I took the baby into the room. She looked a little tired and so I figured a bit of Kai-Lan and it would be lights out for her. Then I could go back to staring at Mr. Strong Arms as I began thinking of him since I didn't know his name. Yet.
Finally, she was asleep. I shut of the DVD and quickly checked myself in the mirror. It was horrible. No makeup, my hair looked as if I stuck a knife in a socket, and my clothes, well they were a candidate for Goodwill. Great, I thought as I tied to make do with what I had. A few minutes later I realized it was hopeless.
A knock at the door startled me and I hopelessly prayed that it wasn't him. Sure enough as I walked through the hallway I caught a glimpse of tan skin. Oh God it was him! A million thoughts ran through my head as I thought of what he could possibly want. Everything from a glass of cold water to wanting to take me on a date. I was nervous I realized as I opened the screen door and he was smiling. What the heck am I doing, I thought as I returned his extremely seductive smile with one of my own.
"Hey", he said as he leaned on the wall with his shoulder. Didn't he know he could give a woman a hard attack with that stance? The fact he was shirtless, a little sweaty, and a lot of sexy didn't bother him in the least. I was in trouble. My "Hi, back at ya" was squeaky and I knew, that he knew the effect his half naked body had on me. Trouble was the least of my worries at the moment.
"I don't mean to bother..."
Right. My inner monologue sarcastically stated while my heart beat a mile a minute. Do you mean to tell me you took off your shirt and walked up the porch half naked and sweaty NOT to bother me? Well, I'm really, really bothered. And Hot not to mention thank you very much.
"I'm sorry, what did you say again?" I realized I had no idea what he was asking. Pay attention, dammit!
"I was saying" his smile widening a bit as if he knew the effect he had on me, "if I could ask you for a glass of water." Water. Oh that's right. Didn't I come up with that scenario? Him asking me for a glass of water and me with my manners saying of course.
"Yeah of course, let me get that for you. Why don't you come in for a few to relax." So it was a little more than just of course. I realized I just put the ball back in his court. He could read into that any way he wanted.
As I held the door open waiting for him to make up his mind, I couldn't help but smile. He was indeed gorgeous. That tan skin looked as if he spent many hours outside working. His muscles said he did a lot of heavy lifting whether it was from working out or simply working, it sure was a sight. As he returned my smile and began taking of his boots a thrill of excitement shot up my spine. The future, or in this case the next few minutes were unclear. And for the first time in my life, I couldn't wait.
I wasn't quite sure what he was working on outside. All I knew was that it was a favor for the grandfather of the child I was babysitting. When his truck first arrived, I couldn't help but just stare. It was one of those trucks you would see on a farm or ranch or perhaps it was one of those trucks they used to pull heavy equipment and held a lot of power. Whatever the fact, one thing was for sure, his truck was pure power and it was indeed a man's truck.
I sat on the sofa that looked out of the window, staring. I couldn't help but watch the muscles in his arms and back bunch up. The sweat that ran down his body, well that was just the icing on the cake. From what I could see he was working on the pavement near the road probably leveling the entire thing or so I thought. It's not like I knew anything about cement and road work.
As he wiped the sweat of his brown I pulled my hair into a tight pony. God, it felt like a hundred degrees in the house. The three fans were on full blast and I couldn't help but feel the heat ride up my neck. Unconsciously I began fanning my face and that's when he looked up. Our eyes locked for a brief second, amusement shining in his while mine probably held the deer in the headlights look. Quickly I looked away and then walked to the other couch knowing he saw me looking and there was nothing I could do about it.
In order to take my mind off of him, I took the baby into the room. She looked a little tired and so I figured a bit of Kai-Lan and it would be lights out for her. Then I could go back to staring at Mr. Strong Arms as I began thinking of him since I didn't know his name. Yet.
Finally, she was asleep. I shut of the DVD and quickly checked myself in the mirror. It was horrible. No makeup, my hair looked as if I stuck a knife in a socket, and my clothes, well they were a candidate for Goodwill. Great, I thought as I tied to make do with what I had. A few minutes later I realized it was hopeless.
A knock at the door startled me and I hopelessly prayed that it wasn't him. Sure enough as I walked through the hallway I caught a glimpse of tan skin. Oh God it was him! A million thoughts ran through my head as I thought of what he could possibly want. Everything from a glass of cold water to wanting to take me on a date. I was nervous I realized as I opened the screen door and he was smiling. What the heck am I doing, I thought as I returned his extremely seductive smile with one of my own.
"Hey", he said as he leaned on the wall with his shoulder. Didn't he know he could give a woman a hard attack with that stance? The fact he was shirtless, a little sweaty, and a lot of sexy didn't bother him in the least. I was in trouble. My "Hi, back at ya" was squeaky and I knew, that he knew the effect his half naked body had on me. Trouble was the least of my worries at the moment.
"I don't mean to bother..."
Right. My inner monologue sarcastically stated while my heart beat a mile a minute. Do you mean to tell me you took off your shirt and walked up the porch half naked and sweaty NOT to bother me? Well, I'm really, really bothered. And Hot not to mention thank you very much.
"I'm sorry, what did you say again?" I realized I had no idea what he was asking. Pay attention, dammit!
"I was saying" his smile widening a bit as if he knew the effect he had on me, "if I could ask you for a glass of water." Water. Oh that's right. Didn't I come up with that scenario? Him asking me for a glass of water and me with my manners saying of course.
"Yeah of course, let me get that for you. Why don't you come in for a few to relax." So it was a little more than just of course. I realized I just put the ball back in his court. He could read into that any way he wanted.
As I held the door open waiting for him to make up his mind, I couldn't help but smile. He was indeed gorgeous. That tan skin looked as if he spent many hours outside working. His muscles said he did a lot of heavy lifting whether it was from working out or simply working, it sure was a sight. As he returned my smile and began taking of his boots a thrill of excitement shot up my spine. The future, or in this case the next few minutes were unclear. And for the first time in my life, I couldn't wait.
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