Wolf Love

**I woke up in the  middle of the night and for some reason this came to me. I don't know why I titled it "WOLF LOVE" but perhaps in time when I work on this piece again, all the puzzle pieces will fit.Don't mind all the errors I didn't even read over everything. Hope you enjoy it!

While I lay in bed waiting for sleep to overcome me, I had the sudden urge to yell out in frustration. I struggled to hold in every ounce of irritation eating away at my very sanity and in doing so ended up flying one of my pillows.


The pillow hit my bookshelf knocking over the frames and whatever else I had put on there earlier. I didn’t care about the mess I had just made, I didn’t care whether or not it was two in the morning and I still had yet to sleep, I just needed to do something, anything.

I just needed to get away.

I sat up in bed staring out of my window. The moon was peeking from behind the clouds which blocked its partial view from me. The night looked beautiful even though there was a storm and most of the stars were covered by the clouds that littered the sky.

I looked up towards the heavens while my frustration rocked back and forth inside of me. The confusion and anger stirred up mixed emotions and I felt as if it wanted to claw itself out of my body.

With my knees pressed up against my chest, I lay my forehead on them rocking back and forth hoping something could calm down all the madness that was fighting inside of me. Hoping that I could feel the comfort of his arms around my body because I missed him, I missed him terribly.

I knew there was nothing I could do to get him back, nothing I could do to have him here by my side because he was gone. He had taken off afraid of the secret he had enforced on my life, thinking I would regret the very feelings I had grown for him over the time we had spent together.

There have been a few moments in my life up until this point where I have found my life unsatisfying. Those moments didn’t compare to what I felt now. I sat up with a sickening feeling in my gut while I reached under my bed and pulled out bag. I reached into the bag and pulled out its contents.

The unsatisfying feeling returned when the rope which was now wrapped around my hand was in full view. The thought of slipping my head through the loop, which I must add was the perfect size, made my stomach churn. I stared at the rope, twirling the fibers between my fingers wondering why?

Death is inevitable. It’s the only constant thing in life. You can’t cheat death, you can’t decide when, where, or even how you want to die. Things just happen. Whether it’s a physical death or an internal death, a person, animal, or even a “thing” still reaches death at some point in life and I was ninety-six percent sure I wanted this to be mine.