The next morning I woke up with the worst headache I’ve ever had in my entire life. Even when I was in college I had never felt as bad as I did now. It was morning and the sun shown bright as if the storm yesterday had never happened. The birds chirped and sang their sweet tune while I managed to sit myself in bed. My head was still spinning and my stomach was in turmoil. I saw the bottle of tequila still on the nightstand ¾ of it empty.
I could hear someone rustling around outside in the kitchen. My first thought was that it was Natasha, but then I remembered it couldn’t be her because she was dead. Holding back tears I made my way to the door and slowly walked towards the kitchen making sure my path was clear just incase I had to run to the bathroom and kiss the Porcelain Queen good morning. To my amazement I found Jake in the kitchen. The smell of pancakes and bacon made my stomach rumble and I was lucky enough to make it to the trash can before everything began working its way out.
I felt Jake rubbing my back and doing his best to hold my hair out of the way. I kept thinking this was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Jake kept repeating "Everything's going to be fine" and I really wanted to tell him to shut up but every chance I got to catch my breath, other things other words came tumbling out.
It seemed like I was in that position for hours even though it was just barely ten minutes. I sat on the chair with my head down on the table wondering if I would ever feel normal again. Jake had set down a plate of food for me but I couldn’t stomach eating anything so soon. I just sipped on the tea he had poured and watched him eat his breakfast. How he managed to eat after seeing me throw up, I’ll never understand.
I noticed Jake had impeccable table manners. The way he held is fork and knife to cut the pancakes, the napkin that lay on his lap, he even chewed with his mouth closed which was a big plus considering most of the men I knew chewed as if they were eating grass rather than food.. As if he knew I was staring at him, he paused mid way from putting a strip of bacon in his mouth and looked at me.
“Are you ok?” he asked me and I replied by nodding my head and continuing to sip on my tea, “You know, it helps if you talk about it, Love.”
“I know” I replied knowing he meant about Natasha’s death. my voice shot to hell, I continued on trying to stomach the tea.
Jake and I sat quietly for a moment until he stood and walked away returning a few moments later. He had a look to him; like he was hiding something or he wanted to ask a question but was too afraid to speak. Jake sat next to me grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly while looking straight into my eyes. I could feel him inside of me; I could feel his gaze as if he were looking straight into my heart.
“There’s something I need from you” Jake said, “Do you think you could do it for me?”
“Sure, what is it? What’s wrong?” I replied. He looked nervous which got me thinking that mayhe he didn't want to be with me anymore. But if that was teh case, why go through all the trouble of trying to help me? What does he want? I was scared now. Jake was scaring me. He had this look to him that said he meant serious business. I had no idea what he wanted from me but I was in no rush to find out.
“I need you to stop drinking. I need you to let go, to let go of your friend’s death.” Jake continued speaking cutting me off, “I need you to be strong. I’m not saying to forget about her but to just let her go in peace. Can you do that?”
I didn’t know what to say or how to react. He was telling me to let go of my best friend. You just don’t forget about things like that. I couldn’t let go of her even if I wanted to. Natasha was apart of my life, had been apart of my life. She had been apart of it since we were in high school, best friends and now Jake wanted me to move on? That wouldn’t happen.
Before I began to tell Jake I was never going to forget about her let alone let go of her, he surprised me by taking out of his jacket pocket a little velvet box. My heart skipped a beat as I looked upon the dainty velvet box; my eyes wide open as if to question what was in it. He returned my silent question by opening it.
There lay before me a single gold key. I felt my shoulders relax and the breath I had no idea I was holding in release from my lungs. It was just a key, a single key. I looked up at him ready to ask what it was for but he cut me off.
“I wish I could say it was the key to my heart but it seems you already have that right in here”
His hand was placed over my heart. I didn’t know what to say or do in return. I was still in shock as to what he was asking.
“Move in with me” he whispered as if afraid I would say no, “please?”
I let the thought of the two of us living together run through my head. He was a good guy, possibly "the one", but I was afraid of losing him like I had lost so many of my loved ones before. I had a choice to make and from the look on Jake’s face, doubt was written all over it.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Monday, December 7, 2009
Mr.Strong Arms pt.1
He was there. Standing outside working in the hot 85 degree weather. There was a slight breeze in the air that I could tell from his hair blowing in the wind. It didn't seem like it did much to cool him off because his shirt was off and tucked in the back of his Levis. Sweat beading on his forehead and dripping down his arms and stomach. His body, well it was the work of the Gods. He could very well be called the next Adonis. His looks possibly giving a younger Brad Pitt a run for his money though instead of blonde hair and blue eyes, he was all tan skin with both dark brown hair and eyes, almost black.
I wasn't quite sure what he was working on outside. All I knew was that it was a favor for the grandfather of the child I was babysitting. When his truck first arrived, I couldn't help but just stare. It was one of those trucks you would see on a farm or ranch or perhaps it was one of those trucks they used to pull heavy equipment and held a lot of power. Whatever the fact, one thing was for sure, his truck was pure power and it was indeed a man's truck.
I sat on the sofa that looked out of the window, staring. I couldn't help but watch the muscles in his arms and back bunch up. The sweat that ran down his body, well that was just the icing on the cake. From what I could see he was working on the pavement near the road probably leveling the entire thing or so I thought. It's not like I knew anything about cement and road work.
As he wiped the sweat of his brown I pulled my hair into a tight pony. God, it felt like a hundred degrees in the house. The three fans were on full blast and I couldn't help but feel the heat ride up my neck. Unconsciously I began fanning my face and that's when he looked up. Our eyes locked for a brief second, amusement shining in his while mine probably held the deer in the headlights look. Quickly I looked away and then walked to the other couch knowing he saw me looking and there was nothing I could do about it.
In order to take my mind off of him, I took the baby into the room. She looked a little tired and so I figured a bit of Kai-Lan and it would be lights out for her. Then I could go back to staring at Mr. Strong Arms as I began thinking of him since I didn't know his name. Yet.
Finally, she was asleep. I shut of the DVD and quickly checked myself in the mirror. It was horrible. No makeup, my hair looked as if I stuck a knife in a socket, and my clothes, well they were a candidate for Goodwill. Great, I thought as I tied to make do with what I had. A few minutes later I realized it was hopeless.
A knock at the door startled me and I hopelessly prayed that it wasn't him. Sure enough as I walked through the hallway I caught a glimpse of tan skin. Oh God it was him! A million thoughts ran through my head as I thought of what he could possibly want. Everything from a glass of cold water to wanting to take me on a date. I was nervous I realized as I opened the screen door and he was smiling. What the heck am I doing, I thought as I returned his extremely seductive smile with one of my own.
"Hey", he said as he leaned on the wall with his shoulder. Didn't he know he could give a woman a hard attack with that stance? The fact he was shirtless, a little sweaty, and a lot of sexy didn't bother him in the least. I was in trouble. My "Hi, back at ya" was squeaky and I knew, that he knew the effect his half naked body had on me. Trouble was the least of my worries at the moment.
"I don't mean to bother..."
Right. My inner monologue sarcastically stated while my heart beat a mile a minute. Do you mean to tell me you took off your shirt and walked up the porch half naked and sweaty NOT to bother me? Well, I'm really, really bothered. And Hot not to mention thank you very much.
"I'm sorry, what did you say again?" I realized I had no idea what he was asking. Pay attention, dammit!
"I was saying" his smile widening a bit as if he knew the effect he had on me, "if I could ask you for a glass of water." Water. Oh that's right. Didn't I come up with that scenario? Him asking me for a glass of water and me with my manners saying of course.
"Yeah of course, let me get that for you. Why don't you come in for a few to relax." So it was a little more than just of course. I realized I just put the ball back in his court. He could read into that any way he wanted.
As I held the door open waiting for him to make up his mind, I couldn't help but smile. He was indeed gorgeous. That tan skin looked as if he spent many hours outside working. His muscles said he did a lot of heavy lifting whether it was from working out or simply working, it sure was a sight. As he returned my smile and began taking of his boots a thrill of excitement shot up my spine. The future, or in this case the next few minutes were unclear. And for the first time in my life, I couldn't wait.
I wasn't quite sure what he was working on outside. All I knew was that it was a favor for the grandfather of the child I was babysitting. When his truck first arrived, I couldn't help but just stare. It was one of those trucks you would see on a farm or ranch or perhaps it was one of those trucks they used to pull heavy equipment and held a lot of power. Whatever the fact, one thing was for sure, his truck was pure power and it was indeed a man's truck.
I sat on the sofa that looked out of the window, staring. I couldn't help but watch the muscles in his arms and back bunch up. The sweat that ran down his body, well that was just the icing on the cake. From what I could see he was working on the pavement near the road probably leveling the entire thing or so I thought. It's not like I knew anything about cement and road work.
As he wiped the sweat of his brown I pulled my hair into a tight pony. God, it felt like a hundred degrees in the house. The three fans were on full blast and I couldn't help but feel the heat ride up my neck. Unconsciously I began fanning my face and that's when he looked up. Our eyes locked for a brief second, amusement shining in his while mine probably held the deer in the headlights look. Quickly I looked away and then walked to the other couch knowing he saw me looking and there was nothing I could do about it.
In order to take my mind off of him, I took the baby into the room. She looked a little tired and so I figured a bit of Kai-Lan and it would be lights out for her. Then I could go back to staring at Mr. Strong Arms as I began thinking of him since I didn't know his name. Yet.
Finally, she was asleep. I shut of the DVD and quickly checked myself in the mirror. It was horrible. No makeup, my hair looked as if I stuck a knife in a socket, and my clothes, well they were a candidate for Goodwill. Great, I thought as I tied to make do with what I had. A few minutes later I realized it was hopeless.
A knock at the door startled me and I hopelessly prayed that it wasn't him. Sure enough as I walked through the hallway I caught a glimpse of tan skin. Oh God it was him! A million thoughts ran through my head as I thought of what he could possibly want. Everything from a glass of cold water to wanting to take me on a date. I was nervous I realized as I opened the screen door and he was smiling. What the heck am I doing, I thought as I returned his extremely seductive smile with one of my own.
"Hey", he said as he leaned on the wall with his shoulder. Didn't he know he could give a woman a hard attack with that stance? The fact he was shirtless, a little sweaty, and a lot of sexy didn't bother him in the least. I was in trouble. My "Hi, back at ya" was squeaky and I knew, that he knew the effect his half naked body had on me. Trouble was the least of my worries at the moment.
"I don't mean to bother..."
Right. My inner monologue sarcastically stated while my heart beat a mile a minute. Do you mean to tell me you took off your shirt and walked up the porch half naked and sweaty NOT to bother me? Well, I'm really, really bothered. And Hot not to mention thank you very much.
"I'm sorry, what did you say again?" I realized I had no idea what he was asking. Pay attention, dammit!
"I was saying" his smile widening a bit as if he knew the effect he had on me, "if I could ask you for a glass of water." Water. Oh that's right. Didn't I come up with that scenario? Him asking me for a glass of water and me with my manners saying of course.
"Yeah of course, let me get that for you. Why don't you come in for a few to relax." So it was a little more than just of course. I realized I just put the ball back in his court. He could read into that any way he wanted.
As I held the door open waiting for him to make up his mind, I couldn't help but smile. He was indeed gorgeous. That tan skin looked as if he spent many hours outside working. His muscles said he did a lot of heavy lifting whether it was from working out or simply working, it sure was a sight. As he returned my smile and began taking of his boots a thrill of excitement shot up my spine. The future, or in this case the next few minutes were unclear. And for the first time in my life, I couldn't wait.
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